The reluctant passenger
Every team has different levels of engagement, and disengaged employees can consume a disproportionate amount of a leader’s time and energy. Rather than immediately trying to fix or motivate someone, leaders can step back, understand what may be driving the behaviour, have an honest conversation and set appropriate boundaries, while continuing to invest in the people who are moving the team forward.
When one person disengages, it can consume a disproportionate amount of a leader’s attention. Curiosity, honest conversations and clear boundaries can help uncover what’s really going on.
We often use the word team as though the people that make up that group are homogenous, all is even-keeled.
Yes in reality you often have star performers, quiet achievers, those that do enough - no more no less, and one or two individuals that drag the chain -the reluctant passengers.
This is a conundrum many of my coaching clients find themselves treading. As a leader, you feel like headspace is disproportionately given over to the reluctant passengers. Because they are the ones who drain your energy, resist feedback, and quietly weigh down the team.
They’re technically doing their job, but only just. Resistant to feedback. Immune to motivation. Often the ones quietly derailing momentum while the rest of the team carries on, slightly heavier and potentially resentful for it.
And the hardest part?
They end up taking more of your tactical energy than the people who are actually moving the work forward.
Not because you’re doing anything wrong - but because you care. You want to lead with empathy. You want to give people the benefit of the doubt. You still believe in the power of growth and change.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned in my career, and I’ll say it quietly: Not everyone wants to be on the ride.
So… what do you do?
Here are a few strategies I share with my coaching clients when they’re stuck in “reluctant passenger whiplash”:
Zoom out, then zoom in. Before trying to ‘fix’ the individual, take a beat to assess the team system. Is this behaviour unique - or is it a symptom of something bigger? Sometimes, what looks like resistance is actually confusion, misalignment, or even boredom.
Have the honest conversation. Not in a “pull-you-into-my-office-and-read-the-riot-act” kind of way - but in a calm, curious, I see you way. Something like: “I’ve noticed a shift - you don’t seem as engaged, and I know that impacts you and the team. I want to understand what’s going on, because your contribution matters… and so does the cohesion of the group.” These kinds of conversations may feel uncomfortable but they are so important. They signal presence, not punishment.
Get curious, not rescuing. The goal isn’t to save them. It's to understand what’s driving them. What’s their version of success? What lights a fire under them (if anything)? This is where tools like the Why of You (PRINT profiling) come in - not to label, but to help leaders see the real motivators at play.
Redirect your energy strategically. High performers need your attention too - not just in a “can you help me clean up this mess?” way, but in a “what’s next for you?” kind of way. Don’t let the reluctant few rob the rest of your team of your leadership.
You can lead with a coaching mindset and still have strong boundaries. You can care deeply and still not carry everyone. And yes, a different energy is required, but one that will pay dividends.
Know too, that your team will notice what you are doing here, which feeds trust and respect. The two foundational layers of a good leader.
